I really do feel sad for women who have a difficult pregnancy or who do not like being pregnant. I'm not saying pregnancy is a piece of cake. There are plenty of things I don't care for while they're happening: morning sickness (which ranges from a rumbly tummy to dry heaves to full-out losing all your stomach acid and anything else in there), random joint pain (which for me usually consists of my hips acting like they've welded shut after being in one position for awhile), random ligament pain, an overall feeling of barn-like proportions, kissing my feet goodbye for a few months, an intolerance for Jack's whining about me not being physically able to pick him up and carry him everywhere, etc. etc. etc.
But I LOVE being pregnant. I really really do.
I appreciate the lack of expectation from others. No one really expects me to do a whole lot of lifting, carrying, dieting, strenuous exercising, yard work, housework. Okay, not true. I can't get out of housework or dirty laundry, toys and smashed Goldfish crackers would eat us alive. But I can get people to lift the dog food into my cart and even lift it into my car without looking or feeling like a lazy bum. Pregnancy appeals to my lazy side.
I appreciate the knowing smiles I now get as people look at my face, down to my belly, then back at my face. It's the "aw, a pregnant lady" look that is not annoying to me at all. It's not like the "Oh, you have a HUGE mole on your face/peg leg/tattoo of a naked girl on your rotund gut! Okay, I'm not going to look, don't look, don't look--agh! Had to look." look. Also I am already on the curvy side, so I think that this is one period of my life when the front legitimately balances out the back guilt-free. So pregnancy appeals to my pride as well.
I appreciate the attention I get. Yes, this may be related to pride, but all in all I think it relates to my self-esteem. I try to act like I have plenty of "esteem" and confidence, just like all of you women reading this. But we are little liars, aren't we? We know about the cellulite hiding within the walls of those jeans. We walk quickly by the mirror after we get out of the shower and pray that we had the water hot enough to fog it up in case we steal a glance despite ourselves. We are flaw-finders, in ourselves and in others. A nasty, ugly habit. So to have people in a general state of awe, glee and respect for my bulgy, swollen, overheated body is pretty much one of the biggest boosts I can get any day of my life. If I try to get the same enthusiasm out of people when my kids are in high school, trust me it won't happen. So pregnancy appeals to my self-image.
I appreciate life more. Who can honestly say they aren't in total awe of life in general when they're pregnant? God lets us make our own people!!! I know that sounds kind of childish, but I think it's amazing that God gives us partial credit in this process. And that, each time, He somehow manages to take the best of mom and dad genetically and blend them together into a child. I mean, I tried one of those "upload your photos and see what kind of kid you'd make" and apparently without God's help my child would always look like a transvestite. Seriously. it looked like me with an Adam's apple and a five o'clock shadow. People begged me to take it off myspace. So I am in awe of the whole process, especially when the kid is OUT and you think "If someone said they had to put this IN me I'd say NO WAY!!! It'll never fit!" And somehow it did. So pregnancy appeals to my optimism.
I appreciate my body more. I mean, I actively strive to take care of myself as a top-three priority. Now I'm actually thinking about things like "I need to eat protein within the hour" and "I will just have a sliver of chocolate cake. Really." I'll even keep track of my water intake, which I never usually do. I usually just drink when I'm thirsty and that's about it. So pregnancy appeals to my body as a whole.
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Jack is growing by leaps and bounds...literally. He jumps everywhere. Women stop me and tell me how gorgeous he is and never, EVER cut his hair. All those golden locks entrance women young and old. That's it--I'm shaving his head when he hits puberty.
He was so good today...we went into Bed, Bath & Beyond and didn't even get a cart...he just held my hand and we walked around the whole store. Then we walked down to Trader Joe's to look for asparagus, which was way too expensive, so we went to Petsmart and looked at all the "fishies" and "birdies" and "kitties." Then we saw one of the really long firetrucks, which Jack loved. We drove to Costco and we walked in the back to get asparagus, then Jack carried one of the bags up front alongside me...now isn't that adorable? I'm hoping it equals a good nap in a few minutes. :)
Baby #2 is growing and growing. I no longer look just chubby. I have a pronounced baby bump and am very happy to strut it around (because I would catch myself subconsciously sticking my gut out in public to accentuate the bump and now I don't have to.).
We found out a week ago today that baby is a boy! We are so very happy, and so VERY sure. My second son, ahem, takes after his brother in, um...well, there's just no question. (Baby girls take note, I guess, for 20 years down the line.)
I have felt him kick on several different occasions--just a flutter here and there, but it makes me so happy. He's got my placenta and a little "Jack-era" pudge to kick through, so he must be pretty strong already. Sources are confused as to whether he's a banana or a carrot, but he's between 11 oz and a full pound now. I believe the full pound. I've definitely grown a lot, even just this week.
I love you, my little ones. I can't fathom life without you.
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