My little avocado

I look forward to every Tuesday now: it's this little one's "birthday"...the day the baby turns one week older and I get more excited about all the preparations that go into bringing another one in the world. I can't wait to see what it "is" (boy, girl, dragon, Italian chef...), but hearing the heartbeat last week was wonderful enough. It made me cry, so the doctor gave me a tissue. :) I just can't believe I am capable (through God, obviously) of sustaining life within me--a new life that wasn't there before and that is totally different from Jack! I hope to feel something, but that's my impatience...I loved feeling Jack move inside me and I am so excited to feel this one!

Tomorrow I will know what "fruit/vegetable size" it is for this week, but this past week the baby has been as long as an avocado. When we were at the farmer's market on Saturday I pointed that out to John and we shared an excited, dopey grin!

I am fully in maternity clothes now, which I was not dreading. I actually like them (while I'm pregnant). I am drinking iced pregnancy tea like crazy and popping pills each day (prenatals, DHA and other "hippie" supplements that made Jack the way he is today). I try to eat well, but either way I eat often, and drink tons of water. I exercise to a prenatal yoga DVD as often as I remember and am making an effort to bake things at home that are more expensive to buy, although I am reluctant now that it's so hot. (I wish the oven was in the garage...but I don't want to work in there either. Grrr.)

I am treasuring this time with Jack, trying to imagine how it will be with another baby...wondering how bad the jealousy will be, since Jack has been the center of my universe for more than two years now. I'm going to have to stop calling him my favorite or that I love him "best of all" too. ;) At least he's too young to know when I leave those things out.

I am so busy this month already that I feel like I can't breathe, but it is different than regular work. It's not a matter of putting time in and going home. I have to work around Jack and John and sometimes that is the harder thing.

My photo business is picking up and I am trying a few new business methods that I'm excited about. I think the hardest part of advertising my boudoir photography is that morally I only want to photograph engaged or married women, but it sounds rude to say to people interested in my services. I mean, I'm not going to bend the rules for the sake of not appearing rude, but I do realize that somewhere down the line this will cause me to lose business here and there. However, in the end my intent is to serve God by strengthening marriages so I am not worried about the occasional lost sale.

I DO hope boudoir bookings will pick up and I can possibly replace my substitute income with this sort of thing, as it is much less of a time-suck. (I think to replace my income I only need between six and ten clients a month.) And I LOVE doing this, which is much better than being disrespected by teenagers and sometimes feeling like I barely survived the day at the high schools!

To John: I am so excited about our growing family--who knew when we met at that bbq ten years ago that we'd be married with a beautiful boy (and another on the way)!

To Jack: I love this time with you, just Mommy & her precious boy, playing games, running through the sprinklers and eating pb&j's together. I love cuddling you and spending time with you, even when you are desperately trying to snatch the mouse from me like right now. I love you, punkin pie.

To my little growing one: I can't believe I get another opportunity to be a mama! I am so excited to see you, to feel you, to have a little one grunting and rooting to nurse, to give baby baths to and deeply take in that delicious newborn smell! Being pregnant with your big brother taught me all the little surprises that come with pregnancy and new mamahood, but I think I can enjoy this time even more with you, since I know what things I most look forward to enjoying again! I want to just stare at you, watch your sleep, enjoy nursing a little one again, search for nearly microscopic baby socks in piles of laundry and NOT WORRY AS MUCH! I am already in love with loving you!